It is one of the 10 commandments – that is how important it is!!
In fact disobedience to parents is listed among sins such as sexual immorality, thieving, etc.
But children need to be taught to be obedient.
This was a crucial point my husband and I agreed on when we started our parenting journey. And we probably had different reasons for our strong feelings on this.
1. Safety – it is very difficult to keep your babies, toddlers, children and teens safe unless you have confidence that they will obey you without question. We needed to know that if I shouted a command, their automatic reaction is to obey. They might still question it, but their instinct is to obey.
2. Deliberate disobedience is disrespectful and should not be tolerated.
3. I shouldn’t have to ask for something more than once.
4. Order from chaos – this is especially true once you decide to have more than two kids. Kids learn quickly that life is not fair. Everyone does their part, and everyone has to obey.
HOW do you teach you kids obedience?
1. Start very early.
2. Be consistent.
3. Never go back on your word. Always stick to your guns.
Extra work being consistent when they are young will make things much easier as they get older.
Teaching obedience can be tempered with grace. This does not mean giving in. This means that outside of the basic ground rules, when my kids ask for permission to do something, or eat something, my default answer is going to be yes, unless there is a compelling reason to say No.
When the default answer is No, kids learn quickly that it’s better to ask for forgiveness than to ask permission.
When I say No, I usually give a good reason. But I don’t have to. When it’s not appropriate to provide details, no means no.
Sometimes kids need to learn impulse control. Yes kids will be kids, but they can be taught to stop and think – is this a good idea? Model this and use situations In daily life to reinforce the concept of impulse control.
In the end, it’s all about the love and discipline shown to us by our Heavenly Father.
Hebrews 12:10-11 They disciplined us for a little while as they thought best; but God disciplines us for our good, in order that we may share in his holiness. No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it.