Finally Content

I mostly write my posts while riding the bus to work because it is a way for me to sort out my thoughts. And this morning the sun is shining through the window on my face and I see green all around me. And I am content.

Why did I live my 30s wanting more – wanting to be more, wanting to have more?

And then when we did have more, I felt guilty, like we didn’t deserve it, or we spent too much money, or why should we have a bigger house than some of my friends.

If someone were to ask me the secret to being content, I would be able to tell them some wise things.

Be grateful for everything – in everything give thanks. And I was thankful, yet still couldn’t allow myself to enjoy things.
Or
Don’t compare yourself to others – comparison steals your joy. If I had less, or my house was messier, or I wasn’t as fit, or I didn’t host people in my home as often, I must be less. And if I had more, then I didn’t deserve it. How can you be content when this is the way your brain works?

I think it really does take a certain amount of life experience to really see and understand that your own mess is beautiful. And that everyone else is a mess too, and that’s beautiful to God also.

The husband God gave me is so perfect for me. He’s not perfect and I’m no where near perfect, but we are so perfect for each other.

And the amazing kids God gave us and is allowing us to raise, we don’t even deserve. They aren’t perfect either, but they are so right in our family unit. And I pray that we will speak, encourage and pray all the right things over them so God’s plans for them will prevail.

Geri Scazerro says in Emotionally Healthy Women, we all have different rhythms we need to live by.

When I am living as the person God wants me to be, living out the passions and gifts He gave me, I am content. It looks very different than my friends’ lives or even what most Christian women are called to do. And that’s all Good. That’s the way He made us.

My rhythm requires quiet, and at home time. It requires being in nature and having space around me.

I am visionary, yet introverted.

I am optimistic, yet timid.

I have opinions, but hate conflict.

I am hard-working, but not-driven

I love people and all their different talents and quirks, but hate crowds.

I am intelligent, yet open to correction

I love music, but can’t handle noise.

I love the night and the moon and the stars, and also my sleep

I am passionate and enthusiastic, but tired.

I am stubborn but flexible, easy-going but set in my ways.

(And this is starting to sound like an Alannis Morrissette song)

 

1 Timothy 6:6

Yet true godliness with contentment is itself great wealth.
Hebrews 13:5

Keep your lives free from the love of money and be content with what you have, because God has said, “Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you.”

11 I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. 12 I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. 13 I can do all this through him who gives me strength.

calm water

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